Adolescent Self-Esteem

and
Parenting Them

The years with their number ending in –teen gained distinction in the early 20th century when child labor was outlawed and education through high school was mandated. This extended those years of adolescence into either ‘the best of times or the worst of times.’ By 1941, Reader’s Digest had firmly implanted the term teenager into our vocabulary and we began to learn about parenting teenagers!

And while your pre-adolescent may seem like a teenager, they are in the tween years, considered to be between 8 and 12 (although I think 8 is a little young). Its always important to ‘see what’s ahead’ so read on, and be sure to check out Parenting a Tween for specifics.

Now their struggles are bigger and riskier…which means they need you to continue to BE there. Now it is more important than ever that the refrigerator is FULL of food and that you willingly welcome ALL of their friends into your home. Make your house the fun place to hang out...and use these tips to help you stay sane!

1. Teenagers Need To Talk
Understand their world by talking about it is a way for teens to formulate what they believe in and value. When they are listened to seriously their self esteem increases.

2. Know Where They Are At All Times
If plans change, it is their responsibility to let you know. And it is your responsibility to let them know if your plans change, too.

3. Curfew
Discuss and agree on a reasonable curfew. This is what works for your family, not what other teens are doing.

4. Driving
There is no opportunity for second chances here! Follow state's young driver rules and add to them for the safety of your new driver.

5. Know Their Friends
You want your home to be the central hub of adolescent activity. This means your refrigerator is full at all times!

6. Be Available
Make yourself available for late night talk sessions. Sometimes it is enough just to share the same space. Be the reliable, steady presence for your son or daughter in these tumultuous years.

7. Family Time
When teens were asked what would make their lives better, more than half said they wanted more family time. So, don’t let them fool you! On some level, they yearn for family connection and the boost in adolescent self esteem has been documented.

8. Biographies
As teenagers search for their place in the world, it is important to supply them with ‘larger than themselves’ role models.

9. Humor, Flexibility and Specific Language
Keeping in mind that “this too shall pass” may help you approach their behavior with a lightness that may hold all of you steady through the tough times.

10. Shine The Light On What They Do Right!
Adolescents will make mistakes but likely they are doing more things right. Focus on the right things!

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