Parent Language
"Words and magic, in the beginning, were one and the same."Only humans possess the magic of language. It allows us to express our feelings, thoughts, and plans. It allows us to uplift or tear down. Language is the outward manifestation of our thoughts and experiences.Your parent language has a dramatic influence on your child's outlook on life. Will your words help your children to be positive and determined? Or will your words make them feel less-than-capable and overly anxious? Changing your language, changes your thoughts. Rapport......is the key to all communication. Rapport begins with our own thoughts: how do we speak to ourselves? Do we have a nagging inner voice or a supportive one?Rapport connects us to others and assures that they want to hear what we have to say. Being in rapport means you are curious and interested in the other person. Sensory-based Language......describes our world without judging it. When our children are young we use simple parenting language. We begin by naming objects: "Ball."When our child understands, we increase the complexity: "Big ball." Then: "Big, blue ball." As children become more verbal, parents (because they think that means increased understanding) tend to reduce the words they use to interpret the world for their child... Yet, now is when children need even more interpretation: "When I hear you cry, I wonder if you feel sad when your friends leave to go home. You might miss them but, you know, they'll come back another day to play." Be the Camera......that interprets your child's world. When you describe what you can see, hear, and feel, you are giving your child a non-judgmental interpretation of the world. From this descriptive parent language, they gain confidence and an understanding of life's events and array of emotions.Everything is Real......to a child. Everything they see and hear is taken at face value. Young children (and even teens) do not have the brain power yet to understand nuances, sarcasm or idioms.Have you ever said: "I'm feeling blue..."? Of course, your friend knows that you meant you were 'under the weather' or feeling 'out of sorts.' I had a dad tell me that when he said he was feeling blue, his toddler burst into tears, afraid that he would actually turn blue! Children think in pictures and haven't yet developed the ability to filter out what isn't real or doesn't apply to them. This is the reason all media should be screened for children, and its best that children under 7 have very limited exposure to media. If you keep in mind that everything children see is real to them, you will more easily turn the TV off! Your Body Language......says more than your words. Scientists have discovered these components to our communication:
If, on the other hand, your shoulders are relaxed, your brow is smooth and your lips upturned, you can imagine that they will be more responsive and open to your words. Your Child's Language......may make your toes curl! Yes, children learn to speak the way those around them do.One dad was especially prone to using 'the f-word'. When his daughter was born, mom insisted that he clean up his language and only use 'that word' outside the house. It was difficult. When his prim and proper daughter was five, he encouraged her (repeatedly) to eat clams. She was determined not to. At last, she turned to her dad and said, "I don't want to eat those F-ing clams!" Ouch! Dad redoubled his efforts to 'clean up his language' after that! You Are......what your children are becoming. Your parent language has the power to influence your children positively, creating deeper connections between you, and increasing your effectiveness as a parent. Be patient with yourself as you incorporate new ways with language...you are changing old patterns and that takes time.Learn More about Parent Language
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